The morning is crisp. The air has a residue of chaos from last night's light show. The wind is gentle, but nonetheless it is there, moving the trees and swaying the grass. The ground is damp, evidence of this is sprawled across my living room floor in the form of paw prints. I didn't wipe their paws well enough I guess. I feel bad for not getting out on the lake yesterday eve, today isn't nearly as paddle enticing. At the same time, I love these dismal days, they're my chance to fit in a daily practice twice as long and get some words out of my head and onto paper (or onto screen).
My thoughts and ideas have me confused lately. I've been doing a lot of thinking about direction, about purpose, about my dharma. I feel part way there. Part way to knowing exactly where I'm meant to be. The other part is still an open adventure though. I'm attempting to point my compass north. This isn't a bad thing. I welcome this awakening with unfurled excitement and ardor. It does feel however, like each move I make is slightly more wishy-washy than before. This is because that part of me - the open adventure part - is just moving with that temperate wind. With every gust it's moved in a different direction, carried to a new place (see my last post) and each of these new places is untrodden and unique. It's undeniable that while I'm exploring these unfamiliar locales I'm being introduced to novel thoughts, ideas and behaviours. I'm leaving no stone unturned and with the turning of each stone I'm exposed to information that's a little deeper and a little more profound. It opens me to myself and I'm consciously introduced to the adventure part of my being. What I'm realizing is that I admittedly like this part; I feel an almost acroamatic connection with it and I'm compelled to deepen this kinship.
I welcome this placid breeze. I want it to flow through my hair and caress my skin. I welcome the ventures this wind will bring about. I want them to move me, just as today's wind is moving the trees and the grass.
The honest learnings and raw reflections of my practice and my life. Unedited.