I’m feeling very nervous. I’m not sure if the nerves are founded or if the nerves are purely perceptual. Regardless, they’re there. It’s impossible to not feel them. I know what they’re about, I know why they’ve surfaced. But I don’t know if I should be feeling them or if they’re simply my modifying mind making up stories about myself, the self that is open to interpretation, not my true self, at the core.
My modifying mind is telling me that I’m not ready, I’m not ready to take this leap. It’s telling me that I’m inexperienced, that I need more time, more practice. It’s telling me that I need more skill and knowledge to do what I desire to do.
But, I’m doing it. Here I am doing it. I’ve connected, I’ve committed and I’ve set the date. I will be teaching a public yoga class on February 9th. Jeeze. How did I make that call? How did I muster the courage to go for it? To think I could go for it? Shit, should I cancel?
I haven’t cancelled, and there is a reason I haven’t.
The only thing capable of overpowering my mind, is my heart.
My heart told me to do it. My heart told me to go for what I want, what I need, for what will move me closer to contentment. This path speaks to me. I know it’s the one I’m meant to wander down and despite feeling nerves about the journey; the destination feels etched in stone. It feels right. This is the first step in what I know will be a lifelong adventure.
Sometimes nerves don’t stand a chance. They’re there but they’re powerless in the face of purpose. My true self is quieting my interpretive self. This is me.
The honest learnings and raw reflections of my practice and my life. Unedited.